This trying to be someone else, someone better is an exhausting journey, an impossible one even. If you are not accepting of who you are now, you never will. Here is a quote by Pema Chodron that is illuminating in this regard:
“As long as you are wishing for things to change, they never will. As long as you are wanting yourself to get better, you won’t. As long as you are oriented toward the future, you can never just relax into what you already have or already are.”
Tap into your inner strengths and wisdom. You don’t have to be anyone else but a complete version of you.
This moment, settle in to who you are, accept these emotions and come back to your right now (feeling your fingers fully on the keyboard, bringing awareness to your surroundings gently and fully, whatever is right now for you come back to it), again, again and again.
Please remember these exercises are for you to come back to everyday, every moment, every time you feel difficult emotions. Ultimately you may learn to embrace both your darkness and light, but what is important to know is that this is a journey, a practice. There is no such thing as perfection on this route. So just enjoy the ride and practice these exercises every time difficult emotions strike.
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